Titfortat

Titfortat 2: Snoutspout vs. Squeeze – The big wrapping?!

Titfortat

This fight must have been setup based upon characteristics, but who knows…

Two squeezing arms vs a powerful trunk call for a big wrapping fight, doesn’t it? One of the smartest and heaviest heroic warriors, who knows how to make use of his dimensions, meets the fast and smart constrictor. Squeeze is 40cm shorter, and not less than 110kg lighter than the elephant man. Snoutspout though is not a warrior, under the line we have 28 points for him. Two more for the Snakeman, what is also not too much. Look at the table of skills for all properties of these two.

Clear the ring! No wonder that Snoutspout waits for the smaller Snakeman to attack. He is far to slow for a surprising attack. Not long to wait, a hissing sound pierce marrow and bone. An awfully fast move of Squeeze’s followed, with his left arm wrapping around the elephant-man’s trunk.

Let’s not forget, this is his nose, so he is not able to breathe properly now! How will he counter? How will the kind elephant react to the snake attack?! In a smart way of course! Obviously he is able to hold the breath for quite a while, so he doesn’t panic. He spreads out both arms, pushing against the snake’s head while he draws his head backwards/ He tries to pull that arm off!!

He even threads his trunk further around the arm, and so tightens the grip, until we all hear a popping sound, saying clearly that arm is dislocated! Suddenly the Snakeman lets go, his left arm is now useless. Though Squeeze looks very much unimpressed. Our orange hero looks very much strained from this apnea action! He breathes heavily. Squeeze seems to change his tactics now, he’s running from one corner to the other. Snoutspout is hardly able to follow with his eyes. In terms of speed we have a four fighting an eight. Then the next attack! The remaining green arm wraps around Snoutspout’s left foot, but the snakeman this time keeps moving, keeps out of reach for the powerful trunk. Elephant-like, Snoutpout stamps on the arm with his free foot, and then starts stumbling. Still holding the foot, Squeeze jumps with both feet first against the left shoulder of the already falling hero.

What does Snoutspout bring up now? His lack of experience in battles in very obvious, and the snakeman managed to locate his shoulder back! Now he is squeezing the trunk with his jaws, while the other arm wraps around the entire body. Squeezes arms are so long!!! This grip will only get tighter, and gravity is not helping our losing elephantastic hero. He can’t get back on his feet, and he is exhausted already. Snakeman wins. Speed wins over strength and brain.   

Titfortat 1: Beastman vs. Spikor

Titfortat

– You can run from Skeletor, but you can’t hide!

Evil vs. evil? Why? Spikor is a victim of Evil-Lyn’s. When she tortured his home village near the swamps, he was the one to stand up against her. With nothing more but a trident, and arrows made of porcupine spikes, he had the idiotic idea to fight the witch. And no one was surprised that she punished him hard, made him a monster, decorated with his own weapons. Abandoned by his own people, he had to live in the swamps. The leeches didn’t kill him surprisingly. Sick of being a homeless monster now, he later followed Evil-Lyn to join her evil army. And guess what, she didn’t want him, made him nothing but a cheap gift for Skeletor. When Spikor heard that Hordak trapped a Leech in his home swamps, he decided to switch sides to fight at a Leeche’s side, hopefully to once defeat Skeletor and Evil-Lyn. This battle is Skeletors revenge for Spikor leaving him! Skeletor chose nothing less than Beastman, the furious wild monster, to pay him back! Spikor is already impressive 2.1m and weighs 140kg, but in the ring with Beastman, 2.7m, and unbelievable 80kg more, he looks like a tiny hedgehog.

So let the fight begin: The orange Beast starts as expected: With a fast and powerful jump towards Spikor, he fearlessly fires a punch straight onto Spikors head. The porcupine monster is down! Seriously shattered, and on his knees, he realizes – that the he is still alive. The Beast isn’t tearing him into pieces. Beastman is sitting down! Not that the dozens of spikes in his left fist would hinder him. But Spikor must have risen his Trident in a reflex. Beastmans right shoulder is bleeding heavily, he seems unable to move his arm. A terrifying scream, like a bear, a lion and a wolf in one, comes out of his mouth, before he starts calmly starring at Spikor. Knowing that the Beast has the power to take over control of animals, Spikor tries to focus on the human part left in his head. He feels Beastmans mind attack, but manages to move towards him. Once close enough, he smashes his fist in the Beast’s face and wins the first tit for tat! What a surprise, the defensive Spikor defeats the Beast.

That’s the final move…

Clawful close

Titfortat: Introduction

Titfortat

Humans have the natural desire to sort things out. I have that too, and since MOTU left a lot of room for phantasy, I finally sorted things out.

As already posted, I have rated the fight skills of all characters in the Table of skills. To find out how they would use their qualities in a real fight, I made up the titfortat tournament, which was already published on Instagram. Someone (wait for it!) has the power to force the characters to fight in a ring, and no one knows where this will lead us…

It is in written form, and since I don’t have the toys ready to take pictures, I might need to draw some scenes. Let’s see if that happens.

Enjoy reading, and use your imagination! Coming soon!

The table of skills is online!

Character profiles

For all my childhood I have been wondering who would be the tallest, the heaviest and the most powerful. The toys were all more or less the same, but Beastman and Whiplash, Grizzlor and Two Bad cannot all be just alike. Is Merman more powerful than Evil Lynn, is Syclone faster than Stratos?

Find out here. This is my own ranking, and it will be the basis for the titfortat tournament, coming soon!

Of course the 2002 cartoon and the newer material has the details, and I have seen some sources for dimensions. All this might have influenced my rating.