Toy review: Horde trooper

Toy review

The horde trooper is a very controversial character to me. I’m a huge fan of the evil horde, and I have many good memories of the 80s cartoons. But, the horde trooper is none of the real MOTU characters. It’s a soldier from mass production, more or less a walking bucket with no strength except for the shear number Hordak produced them. As a toy, it didn’t make sense, if you haven’t had dozens of them.

So all my childhood this figure was a gap filler unfortunately. And it’s quality didn’t help.

My problem was, or his problem was the instable flap. The Hordak-embodied button was cool, but the mechanism was not stable, so that the lid would open uncontrolled. You lift an arm, an the flap drops. Turn the head, drop.

Apart from that issue this figure is a cool looking toy. It has a fierce face, and a nice combination of pale grey, red and black. Other grey figures are few, Hordak and Stratos basically.

In terms of aging the Horde trooper is pretty good. Mine shows some yellowing on the legs, and the button made of soft rubber looks a bit worn off, but otherwise the material is pretty stable.

Tung Lashor vs. Modulok – Greetings from the King?!

Titfortat

Hefart’s titfortat goes into the next round! MOTU Snakeman vs. Horde, we thought that is just history. But now this battle?! Hordak couldn’t be banned for long obviously. He definitely pulls some strings.

But this fight very much looks like the snake King himself wants to send a message. Of course to Hordak. The old enemy. 

No way that Tung Lashor, the anaconda, the muscle man of the snake warriors, would seek the battle with Hordaks mysterious red thing. The two headed, or two one-headed, six, five, four or less legged set of living pieces. 

30 points, 2.5m high and 190kg of pure strength vs. 31 points for the living meat bits. What can possibly go wrong? 

Fight! Tung lashor is a squeezer, even his poisonous tung is made to squeeze. 

But how Modulok is gonna fight is so hard to say. Usually you only see him shooting from a hideout. Is he a fighter at all?

The snake immediately runs towards Modulok, grabs him and pouw! the red devil seems to explode! Is that it?

For sure not. His parts, all over the area, start crawling towards the irritated Snakeman. Arms grab, mouths bite and the power snake doesn’t know how to squeeze. Tiny opponents are not his’. He starts stepping on the parts, but this is not how he is used to fight. His legs are now covered, he tumbles! Falls! But then he uses his tung, green, and poisonous. A few seconds of contact and the pieces turn dark and seem to die. He throws, licks, smashes, until finally nothing moves. Modulok is beaten.

What a miserable fight. What a mess. #tunglashor #modulok #snakemen #evilhorde #motutitfortat 

Titfortat 3: Tri-Klops vs. Grizzlor

Titfortat

History from the cold bloody mountains

This battle is Tri-Klops’ tit for tat. When he was a boy in a village in Eternia’s mountains, his live was just nice. Loving parents, fresh air, enough of everything. His people lived an easy, honest live. He wasn’t evil at all. Maybe he would have been a hero…

The people in the mountains used to tell stories about hairy monsters, maybe to keep the kids from running too far. To teach them to be careful. All myths, or? Hard to believe that there was a place in Eternia that wasn’t infested with horrific creatures.

Tri-Klops was always into technology, what was somewhat strange for his kind. But the mountain people understood the value of his developments. He was well accepted and an innovator, who would make live even more comfortable. One day, after testing a new machine, he came home, and he had to find himself in a blood bath, where his village has been. Everything was destroyed, all killed, all. His family, friends, neighbors. Suddenly the young man from the mountains lived in a nightmare, all alone.

Giant footsteps made clear, there was a single monster in the village. A single creature erased an entire village, and the future of a skilled potential hero. Who was this creature? Grizzlor.

Since Hordac started seeking for the worst creatures of Eternia to strengthen his horde, many horror-myths became reality. Hordac found that hairy monster before Tri-Klops had the chance for revenge. Grizzlor! You need the kind of magic Hordac has, to control this beast. So he did, he made the beast of the mountains one of his evil horde members, without knowing that Tri-Klops has an unfinished business with him.

A two meter human with one laser eye, one super- bright eagle- eye and one ice-beam eye (32 points) gets in the ring with a 3.20m, 310kg, 28 points bear-gorilla monster!

Let’s do it: Tri-Klops looks very focused, seems he has a plan and is so ready to go. No fear, no anxiety, that’s impressive. He looks tiny in front of Grizzlor, but he stands his man.

On the other side, a hairy, growling brown mountain of wilderness. Grizzlor is clearly under the control of a powerful being, if not he would have destroyed the entire arena. No one knows how much of himself is left.

The fight begins. Grizzlor’s first strike hits the floor, and the beast-made earthquake distracts Tri-Klops just long enough to allow Grizzlor moving one step closer to Tri-Klops. The second strike is a continuation of the first two actions, hitting Tri-Klops shoulders from above, what breaks both of Tri-Klops’ legs. The smart, skillful mountain man forgets his meticulous plan, and unfortunately replaces all his thoughts by the memory of stories told about the scary mountain monster.

The last strike in this so-called battle is more like a beginning of Grizzlor’s lunch. Tri-Klops is down, Grizzlor wins. Easy. Ugly. 

Titfortat 1: Beastman vs. Spikor

Titfortat

– You can run from Skeletor, but you can’t hide!

Evil vs. evil? Why? Spikor is a victim of Evil-Lyn’s. When she tortured his home village near the swamps, he was the one to stand up against her. With nothing more but a trident, and arrows made of porcupine spikes, he had the idiotic idea to fight the witch. And no one was surprised that she punished him hard, made him a monster, decorated with his own weapons. Abandoned by his own people, he had to live in the swamps. The leeches didn’t kill him surprisingly. Sick of being a homeless monster now, he later followed Evil-Lyn to join her evil army. And guess what, she didn’t want him, made him nothing but a cheap gift for Skeletor. When Spikor heard that Hordak trapped a Leech in his home swamps, he decided to switch sides to fight at a Leeche’s side, hopefully to once defeat Skeletor and Evil-Lyn. This battle is Skeletors revenge for Spikor leaving him! Skeletor chose nothing less than Beastman, the furious wild monster, to pay him back! Spikor is already impressive 2.1m and weighs 140kg, but in the ring with Beastman, 2.7m, and unbelievable 80kg more, he looks like a tiny hedgehog.

So let the fight begin: The orange Beast starts as expected: With a fast and powerful jump towards Spikor, he fearlessly fires a punch straight onto Spikors head. The porcupine monster is down! Seriously shattered, and on his knees, he realizes – that the he is still alive. The Beast isn’t tearing him into pieces. Beastman is sitting down! Not that the dozens of spikes in his left fist would hinder him. But Spikor must have risen his Trident in a reflex. Beastmans right shoulder is bleeding heavily, he seems unable to move his arm. A terrifying scream, like a bear, a lion and a wolf in one, comes out of his mouth, before he starts calmly starring at Spikor. Knowing that the Beast has the power to take over control of animals, Spikor tries to focus on the human part left in his head. He feels Beastmans mind attack, but manages to move towards him. Once close enough, he smashes his fist in the Beast’s face and wins the first tit for tat! What a surprise, the defensive Spikor defeats the Beast.

That’s the final move…

Crossover: Horde bear

Crossovers

Hordak is one of my favourite characters, and I’m trying to bring him on paper frequently. But for some reason he is one of the most difficult characters for crossovers.

Take this Horde bear. He is cute and I’m sure he cares, but his head is not as hordaky as I wanted it to be. I guess it is some less obvious features that make Hordak, maybe the missing nose? I just realised that I don’t even have a good idea how I imagine his head to look like.

Till next time, my evil leader!

Horde bear