Blast Attak vs. Fisto- Hit me Fisto, one more time!

Titfortat

Man-at-Arms’ brother is kind of a permanent No 2. A bit younger, a bit less skilled, and and and. To all overflow, he is wearing a fist made by his brother since he had that stupid accident in the factory. 

But he is strong as three horses, has the iron amboss punch, is fearless and brave.

Blast Attak one the other side is a mystery who doesn’t belong anywhere. Sometimes fighting for the Snakemen, sometimes with Skeletor, and often enough doing his own thing, whatever that is. What is confirmed: he is a ticking bomb. Scans brought an image of enough explosives to destroy a castle and the village around it too. But what is the trigger? Who has the red button on his desk? No one can, or is willing to answer. And the heroes never got the chance to take him out. Even without the bomb thing, Blast Attak is a proven sniper, fighter and survivor. 

So is this fight his stage to blow up Eternia? Is Fisto the perfect hero to punch the bomb?

Blast Attak vs. Fisto, 30 points, 2.1m, 150kg vs 33 points, 1.8m, 100kg.

Round 1: Fisto is too smart to just hammer-fist-bump this bomb, isn’t he? Ok he is waiting, that’s a good sign. Blast Attak is active, walking around, murmuring, observing. Like a maniac, a scary stranger with a well known secret. 

Then he makes a move. He activated a grid of green laser, covering the whole fighting area. We have never seen that before! Fisto doesn’t move. Is that the trigger? Blast Attak comes closer, no sign of fighting, no attack. The laser grid moves around him as he walks. What the hell? Fisto is overwhelmed, by the little knowledge he has about this guy and by the scenery he creates. Only 2m distance now. Another tool, a stick, no, four, standing straight. He places them in a square around Fisto, who is in a weird cage like set up now. The bomb man starts smiling devilish as a huge iron fist hits his head and knocks him out. No explosion, no further happenings. Still mysterious though. Fisto knocks and wins.

Jitsu vs. Whiplash – I like your hands!

Titfortat

Ever wondered why Jitsu has the massive, golden hand?

And why he is not a renowned martial artist as Ninjor is? Why he cannot sneak like Ninjor? Isn’t he reduced to his golden hand now? What happened? Here’s hefarts version.

Years ago, when Jitsu was an independent master of martial arts, and by the way Ninjors master as well, he was an adventurer. Travelling Eternia, seeing it’s wonders and meeting the people and creatures, was living his dream. An accident involving a giant crocodile-monster-man, ended not only his tour, but also his beloved martial arts, and the harmonic live he lived. He was curious, he loved nature, and he’d never seen a swamp before.

It was, one more time, Skeletor to so-called repair a broken man, and take his life in exchange for that.

Chance for Jitsu now to take revenge on Whiplash, the crocodile monster that bite off his hand!

Human fighter, 1.8m, 100kg, 31 points, meets 28 points for 300kg crocodile-human, 2.6m high.

Ding ding ding: Whiplash stays still, waiting for the right moment to attack. All eyes on Jitsu’s golden hand, that destroyedso many lives before. He lost quiete some agility due that heavy hand, but he has unbelievable strength in his arms.

How to attack such a huge monster, able to strike deadly within tens of a second? Look at that! Whiplash is mean! Starring at Jitsu’s other hand starts the action here. Freaking out is the right term here! The crocodile is provoking Jitsu, his eyes say “Let me eat your other hand!”

Swinging his golden hand like an axe, Jitsu lands some solid punches on the monster. But it shows no reaction! Seems to not even feel a thing! Then the counter: An incredible fast whip with his massive tail towards Jitsu, who manages to jump high enough to elude. He is able to get another punch landed on Whiplash’s back, and that has in impact! Now the green beast is in rage, snapping after him, following him… and eventually getting tired! Jitsu must have hit the right spot to get Whiplash in the offense. That was his luck, the green evil did not seem to be bothered by the golden hand.

The rest of the story is that of a master of martial arts using his experience to win this fight against a giant, tired Whiplash. Revenge done.

Titfortat 4: Clawful vs. Extendar

Titfortat

The hell, why? What, Merman?


What no one knows: Merman has a secret plan! He started training his ocean people to fight on land. But this takes time. He needs warriors to fight with him right now.

Water is thicker than air, they say.

Clawful was one of the first villains who believed Merman could be the new leader of Eternia, able to fight Skeletor, Hordak and King Hiss. Clawful has a natural affinity to the ocean, and there is something magical to Merman. Why would the land creatures always become the leaders?

But what is it with Extendar? Why was Clawful so keen to fight him in the titfortat ring?

Extendar, or who he has been, before he became Extendar, was the spy who spotted Merman training a team of ocean people on land. He realized that something big is rising from the ocean. The saw him, and a fight started. Extendar lost the battle, and his memories. He hardly survived. Man-at-Arms fixed his body, but hardly anything is left from the former spy. No he’s a heavy knight, half human, half robot. Or entirely a robot? He doesn’t know himself.

Clawful can’t risk to let him get back his memories. It would not only be a risk for Merman’s plans, but also threat to Clawful’s life, if Skeletor finds out too early what is going on.

A nervous, lightning-fast 3 meter crab man (28 points) with a clear mission and 190kg of muscles and armor, is fighting the cyborg-knight! Extendar (31 points) is the fifth-heaviest MOTU character on hefarts, and reaches even 30 centimeter higher than Clawful when he’s fully extended. Two gigantic, well armored fighters are meeting here. The question is, can Extendar control the Claw? This battle is about distances, a ringer vs. sword fighter.

Go! Extendar starts in a perfect defense position, knowing Clawful is fast and furious. The red shield in one hand, and a sword in the other hand. His armor should be strong enough to protect him, but for how long? He is not extended, and thus more than 1 meter smaller than the crab. This doesn’t look like the fair fight the numbers promised.

Clawful rapidly moves from one corner of the ring to the other, his size is not slowing him down at all. Extendar’s eyes follow him, the rest of the body is not moving. It would cost him to much energy to follow the crab. Clawful is the first to attack: He comes in a zig zag move towards Extendar. Once near, the huge claw Immediately catches Extendar’s red shield, while the other claw grabs the sword. It is one single movement, happening so fast, that it’s clear, the following seems inevitable. Once clawed, Clawful won’t let go anything, ever. His strength is legendary.

Extendar has no chance to get back his weapons, so he decides to let go. What was he thinking?! What now?

A helpless try to punch Clawful in the face, but Extendar is too slow. How could he be so blind to not see this coming? Why did Man-at-Arms make him so slow? Extendable? He looks like a knight, but in fact they just made him a spy with armor, just enough so that they could send him on missions again.

Sword and shield are thrown out of the ring. It took seconds to disarm the knight. This fight is no fight, it is the second demolition of the former spy. It is a fighting monster vs. a poor experiment of Man-at-Arms.

Clawful attacks again, and this time he’s able to get hold of both of Extendar’s hands. This must be the end already.

His grab becomes tighter and tighter. Extendar panics, sees no other way but to use his extensions to grow larger and get out of the grip. He didn’t even think of keeping the neck short. While he still grows, centimeter by centimeter, we see the proof: the neck extensions can’t withstand THE claw. A grab and a few seconds later, the heads rolls on the floor, the battle is over, and Merman’s secret plan save. So far, no one has a clue why Clawful went in the ring with Extendar.

Titfortat 3: Tri-Klops vs. Grizzlor

Titfortat

History from the cold bloody mountains

This battle is Tri-Klops’ tit for tat. When he was a boy in a village in Eternia’s mountains, his live was just nice. Loving parents, fresh air, enough of everything. His people lived an easy, honest live. He wasn’t evil at all. Maybe he would have been a hero…

The people in the mountains used to tell stories about hairy monsters, maybe to keep the kids from running too far. To teach them to be careful. All myths, or? Hard to believe that there was a place in Eternia that wasn’t infested with horrific creatures.

Tri-Klops was always into technology, what was somewhat strange for his kind. But the mountain people understood the value of his developments. He was well accepted and an innovator, who would make live even more comfortable. One day, after testing a new machine, he came home, and he had to find himself in a blood bath, where his village has been. Everything was destroyed, all killed, all. His family, friends, neighbors. Suddenly the young man from the mountains lived in a nightmare, all alone.

Giant footsteps made clear, there was a single monster in the village. A single creature erased an entire village, and the future of a skilled potential hero. Who was this creature? Grizzlor.

Since Hordac started seeking for the worst creatures of Eternia to strengthen his horde, many horror-myths became reality. Hordac found that hairy monster before Tri-Klops had the chance for revenge. Grizzlor! You need the kind of magic Hordac has, to control this beast. So he did, he made the beast of the mountains one of his evil horde members, without knowing that Tri-Klops has an unfinished business with him.

A two meter human with one laser eye, one super- bright eagle- eye and one ice-beam eye (32 points) gets in the ring with a 3.20m, 310kg, 28 points bear-gorilla monster!

Let’s do it: Tri-Klops looks very focused, seems he has a plan and is so ready to go. No fear, no anxiety, that’s impressive. He looks tiny in front of Grizzlor, but he stands his man.

On the other side, a hairy, growling brown mountain of wilderness. Grizzlor is clearly under the control of a powerful being, if not he would have destroyed the entire arena. No one knows how much of himself is left.

The fight begins. Grizzlor’s first strike hits the floor, and the beast-made earthquake distracts Tri-Klops just long enough to allow Grizzlor moving one step closer to Tri-Klops. The second strike is a continuation of the first two actions, hitting Tri-Klops shoulders from above, what breaks both of Tri-Klops’ legs. The smart, skillful mountain man forgets his meticulous plan, and unfortunately replaces all his thoughts by the memory of stories told about the scary mountain monster.

The last strike in this so-called battle is more like a beginning of Grizzlor’s lunch. Tri-Klops is down, Grizzlor wins. Easy. Ugly. 

Titfortat 2: Snoutspout vs. Squeeze – The big wrapping?!

Titfortat

This fight must have been setup based upon characteristics, but who knows…

Two squeezing arms vs a powerful trunk call for a big wrapping fight, doesn’t it? One of the smartest and heaviest heroic warriors, who knows how to make use of his dimensions, meets the fast and smart constrictor. Squeeze is 40cm shorter, and not less than 110kg lighter than the elephant man. Snoutspout though is not a warrior, under the line we have 28 points for him. Two more for the Snakeman, what is also not too much. Look at the table of skills for all properties of these two.

Clear the ring! No wonder that Snoutspout waits for the smaller Snakeman to attack. He is far to slow for a surprising attack. Not long to wait, a hissing sound pierce marrow and bone. An awfully fast move of Squeeze’s followed, with his left arm wrapping around the elephant-man’s trunk.

Let’s not forget, this is his nose, so he is not able to breathe properly now! How will he counter? How will the kind elephant react to the snake attack?! In a smart way of course! Obviously he is able to hold the breath for quite a while, so he doesn’t panic. He spreads out both arms, pushing against the snake’s head while he draws his head backwards/ He tries to pull that arm off!!

He even threads his trunk further around the arm, and so tightens the grip, until we all hear a popping sound, saying clearly that arm is dislocated! Suddenly the Snakeman lets go, his left arm is now useless. Though Squeeze looks very much unimpressed. Our orange hero looks very much strained from this apnea action! He breathes heavily. Squeeze seems to change his tactics now, he’s running from one corner to the other. Snoutspout is hardly able to follow with his eyes. In terms of speed we have a four fighting an eight. Then the next attack! The remaining green arm wraps around Snoutspout’s left foot, but the snakeman this time keeps moving, keeps out of reach for the powerful trunk. Elephant-like, Snoutpout stamps on the arm with his free foot, and then starts stumbling. Still holding the foot, Squeeze jumps with both feet first against the left shoulder of the already falling hero.

What does Snoutspout bring up now? His lack of experience in battles in very obvious, and the snakeman managed to locate his shoulder back! Now he is squeezing the trunk with his jaws, while the other arm wraps around the entire body. Squeezes arms are so long!!! This grip will only get tighter, and gravity is not helping our losing elephantastic hero. He can’t get back on his feet, and he is exhausted already. Snakeman wins. Speed wins over strength and brain.   

Titfortat 1: Beastman vs. Spikor

Titfortat

– You can run from Skeletor, but you can’t hide!

Evil vs. evil? Why? Spikor is a victim of Evil-Lyn’s. When she tortured his home village near the swamps, he was the one to stand up against her. With nothing more but a trident, and arrows made of porcupine spikes, he had the idiotic idea to fight the witch. And no one was surprised that she punished him hard, made him a monster, decorated with his own weapons. Abandoned by his own people, he had to live in the swamps. The leeches didn’t kill him surprisingly. Sick of being a homeless monster now, he later followed Evil-Lyn to join her evil army. And guess what, she didn’t want him, made him nothing but a cheap gift for Skeletor. When Spikor heard that Hordak trapped a Leech in his home swamps, he decided to switch sides to fight at a Leeche’s side, hopefully to once defeat Skeletor and Evil-Lyn. This battle is Skeletors revenge for Spikor leaving him! Skeletor chose nothing less than Beastman, the furious wild monster, to pay him back! Spikor is already impressive 2.1m and weighs 140kg, but in the ring with Beastman, 2.7m, and unbelievable 80kg more, he looks like a tiny hedgehog.

So let the fight begin: The orange Beast starts as expected: With a fast and powerful jump towards Spikor, he fearlessly fires a punch straight onto Spikors head. The porcupine monster is down! Seriously shattered, and on his knees, he realizes – that the he is still alive. The Beast isn’t tearing him into pieces. Beastman is sitting down! Not that the dozens of spikes in his left fist would hinder him. But Spikor must have risen his Trident in a reflex. Beastmans right shoulder is bleeding heavily, he seems unable to move his arm. A terrifying scream, like a bear, a lion and a wolf in one, comes out of his mouth, before he starts calmly starring at Spikor. Knowing that the Beast has the power to take over control of animals, Spikor tries to focus on the human part left in his head. He feels Beastmans mind attack, but manages to move towards him. Once close enough, he smashes his fist in the Beast’s face and wins the first tit for tat! What a surprise, the defensive Spikor defeats the Beast.

That’s the final move…

Clawful close

Titfortat: Introduction

Titfortat

Humans have the natural desire to sort things out. I have that too, and since MOTU left a lot of room for phantasy, I finally sorted things out.

As already posted, I have rated the fight skills of all characters in the Table of skills. To find out how they would use their qualities in a real fight, I made up the titfortat tournament, which was already published on Instagram. Someone (wait for it!) has the power to force the characters to fight in a ring, and no one knows where this will lead us…

It is in written form, and since I don’t have the toys ready to take pictures, I might need to draw some scenes. Let’s see if that happens.

Enjoy reading, and use your imagination! Coming soon!

The table of skills is online!

Character profiles

For all my childhood I have been wondering who would be the tallest, the heaviest and the most powerful. The toys were all more or less the same, but Beastman and Whiplash, Grizzlor and Two Bad cannot all be just alike. Is Merman more powerful than Evil Lynn, is Syclone faster than Stratos?

Find out here. This is my own ranking, and it will be the basis for the titfortat tournament, coming soon!

Of course the 2002 cartoon and the newer material has the details, and I have seen some sources for dimensions. All this might have influenced my rating.